About the Author

This is a biography of Michael Rossi. Some of it is fact; some is fiction. Like all biographies. But this one is different! You get to participate!

I.

Michael Rossi was born in Beaumont, Texas. He discovered his love of storytelling at a young age when he…

IF YOU WANT HIM TO WRITE A STORY: GO TO II.
IF YOU WANT HIM TO DO SOMETHING WHIMSICAL: GO TO III.
IF YOU WANT HIM TO WATCH HOURS AND HOURS OF TV: GO TO IV.

II.

…hastily wrote a story about his math worksheet blowing out of the bus window, which explained to his teacher why he did not have this worksheet, and also helps explain why he’s so shaky when it comes to multiplying the number 6. This passion for narrative and defrauding public school systems convinced him to…

GO TO III.

III.

…traded the family cow to a down-on-her-luck fairy in exchange for the ability to sit in front of a keyboard for hours and produce 20-30 useful words. This magical power allowed him to…

TO HAVE HIM BECOME A TEACHER: GO TO V.
TO HAVE HIM MAKE TERRIBLE LIFE DECISIONS: GO TO VI.

IV.

…plopped on the couch along with the rest of Generation X and went about memorizing every episode of GI Joe, The Transformers, Go-Bots, The Smurfs, Three’s Company, and The Brady Bunch. This led him to…

GO TO V.

V.

…become a high school English teacher, where he decided to…

IF YOU WANT HIM TO HELP STUDENTS: GO TO VIII.
IF YOU WANT HIM TO ROB A BANK: GO TO VII.

VI.

…become a card-counter at an Illinois riverboat casino, until one day he was caught by Nico, the pit boss, who told him he owed someone named “Lefty Louie” $25,000. Michael’s only choice was to…

GO TO VII.

VII

…rob a Banco Popular in Naperville. The plan was to try and pass off a Nerf Supersoaker as a weapon, but an accident with a teller and a dye pack led to a three-day hostage situation. Michael was arrested, tried, and convicted. He served ten years in the Joliet Correctional Facility. When he was released, his only choice was to…

GO TO VIII.

VIII.

…create The Monologue Show, an annual showcase for student writing and performance. Inspired by his students’ passion and creativity, Michael decided that he should…

IF YOU WANT HIM TO WRITE BOOKS: GO TO IX.
IF YOU WANT HIM TO INVENT A TIME-TRAVELING DELORIAN: GO TO X.

IX.

…get serious about his own writing. So he wrote a book. And another. And another. He wrote essays, poems, letters, and stories-- many that you can read on this site. He’s just going to have to keep writing. Unfortunately, his only other choice is to…

GO TO VII.

X.

…Create a time machine, which isn’t really difficult for a writer. All you need to do is go back to the beginning…

GO TO I.